Some nifty things to do with the iPad

While generating much excitement, the new release from Apple has also elicited criticism in some circles for its limited functionally. We provide here a small set of new and distinct uses for the iPad:

• Acts as a regular iPod Touch for people with very fat fingers. Also for frost giants and Bigfoot, if he exists.
• Use it to check your email while your real computer boots up.
• Increase the speed at which you make purchases on iTunes.
• Can be used as a serving platter for pictures of food.
  
• Lord it over people who don't care.
• Comically hold to your ear and loudly say, "Can you hear me now?"
• Gotta have 'em all!
• Something to talk about incessantly in lieu of getting a real hobby.